From Effort-ing
to
Rest
Friday, January 31st, 6:30-8:00 pm CET
A Hakomi-inspired workshop
for healing the mother wound:
stop the habit of working hard
just to feel seen,
heard, validated and loved
A troubling relationship with a mother in childhood often generates an inner restlessness that leads women later on in life to get trapped in effort-ing habits and difficulty to trust that the experiences they yearn for can be found with ease
Does this sound like you?
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You feel that the weight of getting things done is mostly on you
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It's hard to trust that you'll get what you need from others
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You often feel misunderstood
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The pressure to succeed in your endeavours can get the better of you
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You feel the need to walk on eggshells around others, afraid to voice your views and needs
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You're the one who everyone sees as strong, not seeing your need for a shoulder from time to time
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You often feel tired, exhausted or overwhelmed and perhaps even you've had a burn-out
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Your day-to-day, your relationships or the way you relate to yourself are fraught with the energy and attitude of effort.
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Effort has become second nature to you and you might not even notice it anymore
It's no longer a single push for something, it's become a continuous effort-ing
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Effort-ing can show up in many ways:
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Trying to explain yourself over and over again
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Avoiding voicing your truth in an effort to not take too much space or attention
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Beating yourself for not trying hard enough
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​Fear of being "exposed", as if you're a fraud and don't know what you're talking about
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Doing everything possible to be liked and avoid rejection
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​​​​Working hard to impress
​​Maybe you've done the work and now you do incorporate "me time" into your schedule, but it's not easy to let go of the to-do lists once you slow down and relax
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Perhaps you get to book yourself nice holidays, but cringe with guilt and shame when people comment with stingy remarks such as "don't work too hard, ha?!", or "how do you have the money for all that?!"
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You yearn to have your needs met
without making an effort
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After working with many women on healing the mother wound, I've seen that even after many insights and undoing childhood wounds, the hardest part is taking in nourishment and believing that true rest is a viable and valid way to achieve whatever the heart desires
JOIN IN​
From Effort-ing to Rest
1.5 hours live, online workshop, Hakomi-based practices
Friday, January 31st
6:30-8 pm CET / 5:30-7 pm BST / 12:30-2 pm EST
How it works
The first 20 minutes will be teachings on healing the mother wound and the habits to effort.
The rest of the workshop is experience-based with different healing practices in the big group, small groups and pairs
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Cameras on. You can come with your PJ, your cuppa or your cat, but we want to offer a safe space to feel​ vulnerable and find healing in connection and this can't happen when you talk and practice with a black square.
Recording
A recording of the first 20 minutes of teaching only will be provided to attending participants.
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Limited Spaces
Space is limited to 30 participants
This will ensure enough space for sharing to those who want to bring their voice into the space.
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Fee, Refund & Payment Options
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25 CHF (check for your currency here)
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A refund can be offered for cancellation up to 14 working days before the workshop date, minus transaction fees
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Payment can be made with PayPal, or credit card via the registration button below. For Swiss residents, payment via TWINT is possible. For those living outside of Switzerland, it's also possible to pay via WISE. For WISE or TWINT payment click here to write to me
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THE TWO COMMON MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT REST
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In this workshop, we’ll touch on two common approaches that send misleading and harmful messages about the mother wound and the habits of making an effort to be seen, heard, validated and loved:
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1. Self-care
The notion of self-care has been shaped in our culture as a form of pampering. While taking a bath or meeting a friend for a coffee is a valuable respite, they don't address the underlying tendencies of harsh self-criticism, the deep belief that you don't deserve to rest and fears that you're taking too much space.
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Instead, true self-care is about tending to the habits that propel you to 'try harder' and 'move beyond it', whatever feeling, yearning or pain that 'it' stands for. Self-care based on deep self-acknowledgement has the power to undo habits of effort-ing.
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2. You worked hard - you deserve it
While the sense of deserving is commonly conditioned by work - where women are expected to wear multiple hats and work more than men to prove they can - you never get to feel that you've worked hard enough to deserve rest.
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To move through your daily life from a state of rest, this conditioning and limiting belief have to be dismantled and replaced by a sense of ease that you simply deserve what your heart is yearning for - period.
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Hi, I’m Shelly
A recovered workaholic and retired effort-ing queen
Took me time to make the connection between my own mother wound and all the ways I was effort-ing towards what I wanted and needed.
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Healing from abandonment and emotional and physical neglect meant that I could feel enough and find a sustainable state of inner rest.
I'm a certified Hakomi therapist and Buddhist psychology coach. Over the past 15 years, I’ve been working with women worldwide, helping them deepen the healing of their mother wound.
"I experienced Shelly’s workshop on efforting as a gentle sprinkling of rain on a hot day, a releasing of tight muscles and unclenching of my heart. With her gentle voice and subtle prompts, Shelly prompted us to explore ways of taking rest, releasing our tendency to push ourselves too hard and to give ourselves permission to do these things. I noticed the same release in others in the workshop as smiles replaced tight faces and as shoulders softened. I am very grateful to have had the chance to participate in and learn about this previously unknown to me technique of healing that I will definitely now want to explore further. “
Erika
Joining this workshop you can expect to:​
1. Gain some key knowledge about the mother wound and how it perpetuates habits of effort-ing
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2. ​Learn about true nourishment ​and experience it for yourself
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3. Explore some key effort-ing habits in the safe companionship of women like you
From Effort-ing to Rest
1.5 hours live, online workshop
Hakomi-based practices for healing the mother wound
Friday, January 31st
6:30-8 pm CET / 5:30-7 pm BST / 12:30-2 pm EST
25CHF
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Your next step
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​​Click the button below and complete your registration and payment
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You'll receive an email with all the details for the workshop including Zoom link for the call and other details to make the most of this workshop
Have a question this page didn't answer?
"I found Shelly's workshop to be extremely soothing and supportive. The idea of resting and relaxing instead of efforting was really a draw for me. We learn in our culture that efforting is what is required but truly relaxing is what allows us to receive. I found Shelly's class to be a somatic experience of just that....being able to relax and receive and learn that I will receive even more when I'm resting (and not over-efforting!). I also gained insight into why I've been over-efforting all these years. Extremely valuable information! Thank you Shelly!“
Robyn